Being a commander or visionary leader requires a great deal of self-discipline, being decisive and taking action even when you're unsure, being unwavering in front of your troops (i.e.,your team members, your charges, your employees), being intense and (at times) intimidating, and being older than your years.
You cannot show doubts, wavering, or a sense of depression or defeat in front of your charges, employees or subordinates. Ever. This requires acting tough and occasionally detached, and it also means that you have to segregate yourself from your troops and not use them as therapists, confidantes, or as sources of bolstering your self-confidence. All of these things are for you to contend with alone.
The sad irony is that you must, of necessity, send your most doubt-filled and insecure moments alone. This is a tremendous emotional burden to bear. It's rather like the old-school actors' adage "Never let 'em see you sweat."
Before assuming the position of Commander, Leader or Chief Executive Officer, you must practice spending some time alone, and solving your own problems. If you are naturally extroverted, emotionally volatile or impassioned about things, you must learn to shut down when it is time to leave the troops settled in for the night, and to ascend the lonely mountaintop alone to find your solitude and to work on your acting skills -- your job is getting things done, utilizing Human Assets.
I say this without cynicism or humor -- no person or peoples will follow a leader who concedes defeat, doubt or a loss of direction. No one will help you, when your job requires that you bravely, and with certainty must lead others.
You've heard it. Do you still think that you have what it takes to be a Commander? Think about it carefully. Be your very own Devil's Advocate. In terms of percentages, fewer than 5% (anecdotally) of the adult population are emotionally qualified to be leaders or commanders. And of those, it has been theorized that most of them show a high propensity for sociopathic behavior, which is almost a prerequisite for being a coldly-focused leader and accomplishing what requires doing.
I'll repeat: Do you still think you have what it takes to be a Commander? No one can help you to answer this question. You must answer it for yourself after some very serious and potentially painful introspection.
Douglas E. Castle for The Taking Command Blog
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