NEXT POST: COMING ATTRACTIONS

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Dear Friends:

I am writing this brief note to wish each and all of you a Happy and Healthy Holiday Season. The next post, due to be up on January 5th, 2007, will be of great importance to any of you who have had occasion (or will have occasion) to speak, as leader or facilitator, before a group of persons with conflicting agendas. You will not want to miss this post.

Faithfully,

Douglas E. Castle

p.s. Notice the photo above...you will find it slightly unsettling. Which side of the fence will you be on? Is it possible that you are already living your life on one side of this fence.

CONVENTIONAL WISDOM (?)

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YOU SHOULD VISIT...

www.HumanitasMaximus.blogspot.com.

Faithfully,

Douglas E. Castle

NEW POST!

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Dear Friends:

Please click on to www.psychological-self-mastery.blogspot.com for a very brief, but very powerful article on self-development. Understanding this bit of wisdom can change you from being a victim to being a winner. You will not be disappointed.

Faithfully,

Douglas E. Castle*

*The above picture of my former summer residence appears courtesy of my ex-wife.

REQUIRED READING

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Dear Friends:

Travel by hyperlink to www.SendingSignals.blogspot.com immediately. Then return here.



Faithfully,


Douglas E. Castle

HYPERLINK TO MAKE YOU THINK

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Dear Friends:

Connect via hyperlink to www.psychological-self-mastery.blogspot.com. Now.


Faithfully,


Douglas E. Castle

p.s. The above picture has nothing whatsoever to do with Command. I just wanted to put it up there.

You Only Learn When You Truly Pay Attention

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Most everybody enjoys the opportunity to speak, to express views, to vent emotions, to persuade, to receive and revel in the attention of others. Speaking and being heard are validating experiences for most people. Whether it is a hostage demand, a suicide threat, an explanation, an apology, a comedy routine, a dramatic reading, a confession, or a monologue on a psychoanalyst's couch, every word is a plea for attention, understanding and appreciation. Generally speaking (with I, myself, possibly being the sole exception), great orators and statesmen are not attracted to those pastimes and occupations because they have an important message to convey -- no, more likely it is that it thrills them to hear the sound of their own solo voices against the backdrop of a cheering crowd of voters, worshippers, employees, or fans.Given a choice, most people would prefer to prattle on for hours instead of listening to someone else's ramblings and musings. It is very basic human nature.

If you add to the actual informational content of this speech certain special nuances, such as: accented words, recurring themes, intonation, facial expressions, eye movement and focus, body language, posturing (kinesthetics), posing, stammering, lengthy pauses, histrionics...you have a very powerful access to information if you truly pay attention. This means using all of your sense to accumulate and process important and predictive data. You cannot gather and analyze data while you are speaking, arguing (in the case of an angry rebuttal), or busily preparing your next spoken line. One of my favorite examples is quite typical: you go to a social gathering, the hostess brings you around and introduces you to several guests, and you do not remember the anme of a single person, let alone the slightest detail as to how he or she is related to your hostess, or what he or she may be interested in. You were so absorbed in thinking about your handshake, and what your opening line was going to be, that you completely tuned the other person's communication out. Had you paid attention, using all of your powerful physical, psychological and psychic senses, you might have walked away for these seemingly perfunctory encounters with some valuable information, instead of the traditional power-party after-the-fact questions, including, "What was her name? Who is she related to? What firm does she work for? What color were her eyes?" You wasted a valuable encounter by failing to pay attention.

People appreciate us more when we provide them with a rapt, dedicated audience. It makes them feel important, and they bask in our interest in them. The more that you are willing to attentively listen and observe, the greater the other individual will be drawn to you. If you occasionally ask a leading question to further affirm your apparent interest, you encourage more disclosure and openness. You also inspire friendship and initiate seduction. We (all of us) find it to be a very attractive attribute in others when they listen to us with seeming interest and intensity. We hunger for the release that expressing ourselves to an interested and admiring party (even a stranger) affords us. When we pay attention to others, we inspire their confidence, and develop a controlling bound.

Before imposing your agenda upon someone new, be an observer, an interviewer and a confidante. Then gently and subtely incorporate your new knowledge of the other person's genuine profile and agenda into crafting your own comments in response. Know your new acquaintance's psychological inclinations, desires and territory before you stake your tent.

Before you can devise and implement you optimal strategy, you must have as much information as possible. eople love to communicate -- they hunger for attention and recognition -- cultivate the ability to be a good listener, observer and interviewer, and set the odds of successful command in your favor. It is a show of great interest (and a flattering display) if you actually interrupt your interviewee with relevant questions from time to time to demonstrate that you are not only listening, but that you hunger for even more.

This process takes practice and patience, but it will win you great influence on the way to establishing your command.

Pay attention -- you are actually receiving many of the keys to unlocking the motivational psyche of the other person.

Faithfully,

Douglas E. Castle

p.s. Quick Note: gather name, occupation, eye color, key likes and dislikes. If you listen and observe attentively enough (and perhaps enliven the conversation with some well-deserved and unique observations and compliments). Your first two roles in command are to 1) allow the other person to reveal himself/ herself and his/her attitudes and intentions to us, and 2), to allow the other person to become magnetized to us, and not to try to brand them forcefully with out ideas and conventions. This absolutely works.

Try the above for several weeks. Let me know what you see happening to those around you. You will invariably find yourself doing a great deal more listening, watching, nodding encouraging and developing far stronger intuitive impressions of others. When you are listening, you are gathering critical data. In order to gather more data when a particulat string of monologue runs dry, a Commander plays the subtle role of passive interviewer, asking specific questions (without revealing his/ her inherent bias or hidden agenda), to encourage further disclosure on the part of the interviewee. Take care not to criticize or oppose (either verbally or non-verbally) any of what you are hearing, as that will compromise the integrity of the process, and invite deceit on the interviewee's part. How many people do you know of who merely pretend to listen as a formality (sometimes they even look down or to the side, begin tapping their hands or feet, or engaging in other distracting behaviors to end the other person's turn at conversation), while they are busily preoccupied with preparing to make their own point, or to launch a rebuttal, if they have already decided that what they are hearing is either untrue or invalid. Do not be one of those fools.

Please feel free to contact me with your observations and ideas regarding this post, and on any related topics, at FreeDECastle001@yahoo.com.

Send a copy of this article directly to a friend or colleague by clicking on the envelope icon at the bottom of this page. Send the news!

Faithfully,

Douglas E. Castle

It Came Alive Five Seconds Ago...

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You are here. The door is shut behind you, and we are alone together. I am merely a voice inside of your mind, without body, but sentient and insistent. And you are compelled to listen, because something came alive inside of you approximately five seconds ago. And you ask, in a moment of awkwardness, "Why am I listening to this voice?" You are compelled. You are riveted. Because the voice is truly your own, to the exclusion of all others, and away from what anybody else says or thinks. At this moment, time is suspended, and you are focused only one this one thing. You have become aware that you had almost completely lost touch with your inner voice...the honest and pure voice of your innocence. The true, clear and uncorrupted voice of your childhood. And you are hearing that voice now, without shame, without worry, like a long-lost best friend...but with the tingling feeling of anticipation that heralds a life-changing revelation. Like that sharp tang of ozone in the air right before a summer's storm...that sensation of electricity...

Now you finally strip away all of the noise and chatter and conformity and compromise associated with a life of being directed and dominated by others...a false image of yourself...a convoluted montage of others' expectations and comments about you. Of a life lived where it was considered to be the height of selfishness to think of yourself first. Of a life lived where your dreams and desires were crowded out by the demands imposed upon you by others. Of a life lived where your voice was punished as rebel and traitor. Of a life where your identity was almost stolen from you, and in order to protect it, you hid it, in shame, somewhere deep inside of you...the more you repressed it, the more deeply it hid. But it never died. It waited until today to wake up inside of you. And that is why you are here. And, paradoxically, you haven't lost your mind -- you have, in fact found it. You have rescued your own identity, and now the task ahead of you (and a joyous task it is) is to listen to that voice, encourage that voice and let it tell you who you really are and what you truly want.

You were born with a powerful sense of self, as well as with instincts, intuition, and countless other gifts which have subsequently been stunted or have atrophied because you were taught by others, in their well-intentioned but misguided need to control you, that you could not trust yourself. Well, you can. From this moment forward, you know better.

People lie constantly. We lie to ourselves to the extent that we are unable to understand what we really believe and how we genuinely feel. It is the first challenge of command to FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE by learning to separate your own voice from the other voices in the room. The question is not, "Am I being honest?" The life-and-death question is, "Am I being honest with myself?"

You cannot have power over anything if you are unable to establish power over yourself. You are obligated, in the sacred interest of having an identity -- your singular, unique identity out of all the others in the universe -- to learn to listen to yourself; to question yourself; to be honest with yourself. For how can you set forth an agenda for accomplishment if you are not certain as to who you are and what would make you happy. It is pointless to wander through life aimlessly, and to waste the limited and precious gift of your time here.

Do not squander another minute trapped in a web of lies and self-doubts, impeded at every turn by conflict and fear of disappointing someone whom you've empowered to determine your value. Your value is immeasurable, but greatness will elude you until the moment that you have firmly committed yourself to start listening to yourself and stop lying to yourself. Knowing yourself gives you tremendous power.

The first key to establishing command in your life if to reclaim your honest identity, and your personal power. Now that you know this, you will be constantly checking yourself. And as the voice within you becomes louder and clearer, so to will the decsions which you will begin to make.

And you smile, because it is so obvious, and so refreshingly liberating.

Congratulations on the rebirth of your sovereign Self, and on taking the first pivotal step on the path to Command.


Faithfully,


Douglas E. Castle

p.s. If you would like to send this article to a friend, just click on the envelope icon below, add your message, and it will be sent. The author can be contacted directly at FreeDECastle001@yahoo.com.

Other links are www.unlimited-mind.blogspot.com, www.psychological-self-mastery.blogspot.com, www.SendingSignals.blogspot.com, and www.lifextensionquality.blogspot.com, and www.HumanitasMaximus.blogspot.com.

Command Out Of Chaos

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Command is the mechanism by which an intelligent being is able to accomplish his or her most important objectives through the use of people, resources and situational dynamics. An effective Commander understands how to identify, recruit, leverage and strategically deploy all of the potential assets at his or her disposal in order to GET THINGS DONE QUICKLY AND PROPERLY . Strong interpersonal skills and an applicable and realistic working knowledge of human behavior are vital to building an effective command structure.