Dear Friends:
When negotiating, if you must make a concession, or you must yield on a demand to your opponent, you should be certain to do the following things to maintain a perceived strength and negotiating advantage:
1. Never simply "give in" and say "no problem." Make bit of a fuss, hesitate, think about it, sit back in your chair, and after pausing to take exhale slowly, say, "I'm not certain I feel good about that. Why is it important to you?" If and when you do concede, it should always look like you've given something of value away, and made a painful sacrifice.
2. If you relent, prior to giving it up, say, "I'll try to accommodate you, but you are asking for quite a bit. I could only consider this if you _____________________ (request that your opponent give you some opportunity, advantage, or "exchange" for whatever you've sacrificed. Let your opponent think that he has won something of value, and made a payment, however small, in exchange for it. In brief, if you giveth, you must taketh something else away.
3. Hassle in this manner over small points, to take your opponent's focus off the important ones. In fact, after giving him a rough time over several such concessions, he will be more inclined to yield to you on one of the more significant points. After a number of small concessions, your opponent will be a bit fatigued, but will feel a bit victorious. When a point of significance finally emerges, you will be well positioned to say (after "giving in" on so many concessions), "this is becoming very one-sided, and I feel that you are have asked me for a great many things...in the spirit of making a deal, in in light of how much I have accommodated you, the least that you can do is____________________; and that's where you win your big concession and victory.
Negotiating is game that involves acting, misdirection and manipulation. Study all three. Your interactions with others are a series of negotiations.
Faithfully,
Douglas Castle
p.s. In the words of Francis Buxton, Jr., "My father says that everything is negotiable, Pee Wee."
Douglas Castle
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