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| AVOID THIS MAN, OR ACTING IN THIS MANNER AT ALL COSTS! |
Commanders, Leaders And Managers: I wanted to thank Hamilton Miller, author of the book, Elite Social Control, for providing the inspiration and a great deal of the core material for this post on The Taking Command Blog.
Few things are as necessary to your gaining power than your being able to join the social elite for a coattail ride into their hearts, heads and homes, and to ultimately gain influence and control.
This material is a great deal more subtle than my traditional drill-sergeant rhetoric or my surgical strike tactics. It is really the study of general diplomacy tactics or moves used to disarmingly enter the world of the elite -- then again, infiltration is still the objective and it always requires an element of acting when one of the constraints is winning without violence or obvious dominance. Hamilton Miller has a great book and some great ideas; I've just taken the liberty for the purposes of our readership to make some tweaks and corrections taken from the netherworld of hypnosis, NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), and specifically anchoring, mirroring and some non-verbal communication techniques. If you'll excuse the pun, you'll get to see some fancy footwork applied.
Hamilton uses the term "Magnetic Moves" and I will adopt the use of his nomenclature for the purpose of creating consistency and in your reading experience.
The Magnetic Moves give your your other Command Training the final, polishing touch. Others may overlook many drawbacks you may have, but not your failure to perform the Magnetic Moves. These Moves bust be practiced and mastered, as if your life were truly a stage, and you were truly an actor. And you will be judged by your ability to put on a good show -- your infiltration and domination depends on paying rigorous attention even to the smallest detail of these Magnetic Moves. These Magnetic Moves sweep everybody off their feet. It is obvious how tremendous they must be for mental domination. The Magnetic Moves are easy to learn. Even people with below average intelligence can study them, apply them with little trouble, and gain phenomenally from them. With these, women with ordinary minds and looks have won choice husbands. Men of inferior birth have become the associates of presidents, kings, and queens. Nothing will make you more welcome anywhere. With these moves, con artists have pulled off amazing frauds, and men have been elevated to positions of affluence over men with far more ability. How the Magnetic Moves Affect Others The Magnetic Moves disarm the other person, lower his defenses, and throw him into rapport with you. If he is your superior, he favors you because he can't help himself. If he has to reprimand you, the words choke in his throat. With the Moves you appear as if you harbor no evil in you. That alone usually stifles resistance against you. The Moves may be called The Great Disarmer, the great neutralizer of hostile feelings against you. Secret 1: The Non-Analytical Look When about to be introduced to anyone, show no shyness or unwillingness. Show respect and admiration for the person, instead, by envisioning him nobly and respectfully. Overlook everything detracting about him. Completely ignore Bob's lesser height, irregular features, unsymmetrical figure, poor clothes, uneven teeth, poor dental work, missing limb, prominent mole, ugly scar – in fact, anything and everything about him which does not add to his appearance. Stay neutral and establish instant rapport with him. If he believes you are not aware of his imperfections, he might conclude that you are not observant. But he will relax with you, and you need that for mental domination. Nobody enjoys the psychoanalytical look when it is directed at him. It is an antisocial look and arouses resentment. It may be pardonable in a doctor because he has to diagnose, but in everyday life people prefer to hide their deficiencies. Stare only at Bob's eyes to suggest to him that he has captured your full attention. That banishes the rest of him from view and stops you from studying him. Secret 2: Drawing the Other Person Out of His Shell After expressing your pleasure in meeting Bob, flatter him with a Magnetic Statement. But don't usurp the conversation after that, unless he is tongue-tied or the silent type. Induce him to do most of the talking, particularly about himself, and give him your undivided attention. You can't do this for long because it grows boring. But do it long enough to establish complete rapport between you and him. Secret 3: Subtle Probing As stated in a previous section, don't embarrass the other person with intimate questions. Praise something about him and let him elaborate on it if he is so inclined. If you praise him for possessing broad shoulders, he might scoff and "admit" that he acquired them from playing sports in college. At once, exhibit interest in his education and ask him what college he attended. You would soon discover what he studied. From that you can guess his occupation – even his probable income. Secret 4: How to Take Graceful Departures From People Don't abruptly march off from a person you are conversing with. Say to Bob, first, "Will you excuse me? I'm late already. Good meeting you. See you again." If another group has already gathered around him and has eclipsed you, withdraw inconspicuously. Secret 5: Retain Your Equanimity Never give vent to rage or anger in social company. Slight or humiliate no one, even if he is unpleasant. Don't be a social sadist. Don't wound people's feelings. Don't hit back by embarrassing others for slights, either actual or imagined, which you suffered at their hands. Revenge thinking, besides, changes your general demeanor to the unfriendly. Secret 6: Show a Democratic Attitude Towards Others At work especially, look down on no one in a subordinate position, even if he belongs to another department. Some day, he might be able to do you a big favor and save you a lot of hassle. An antisocial attitude, besides, gets talked about; and, once you are known for bad manners, people expect the worst of you and act aloof towards you. Secret 7: Don't Brag Don't brag about your income, as if your co-workers were paupers. If you are a woman, don't brag about your beauty. If others don't notice how attractive you are, forget it – there are others who will. Secret 8: Be, Or Pretend to Be – a Good Listener Don't adopt a know-it-all attitude. Appear always ready to listen. Don't pass for a simple-minded idiot who believes anything he is told; but don't act stubborn, nor as if impossible to influence either. People want you to listen to what they have to say. Don't turn your head when the other person presents his side of the question. Even if he is misinformed, don't insult him by being rude. If he is long-winded, interrupt him with something he likes to hear about and then abruptly change the subject. If that is not easy to do at the time, turn pleasantly to someone else and ask for his or her opinion of the matter. Never start a quarrel with a person who is monopolizing the conversation. Secret 9: Retain an Impartial Attitude Don't turn, tongue in your cheek, to someone beside you and mutter sarcastically about the person who is monopolizing the conversation. It puts your listener in an embarrassing position. You compel him to take sides, and that is not sociable, even if he secretly agrees with you. Refrain from all personal discussion. Mention nothing to your companion about his own private life, character, or ability to reason. Confine yourself to the subject being discussed and raise no controversial issue that could lead to a heated argument. Arguments incite people and curtail your power to influence them. Secret 10: Reply to People with Words, Not Gestures No mannerism antagonizes people more, nor labels you with a supercilious attitude sooner, than to reply to their statements with nods or shakes of the head. They wonder if you view them as animals or slaves. No slave would answer his master with nods or shakes of the head, but many a master might reply to his slave like that. So, don't insult others by replying to them with gestures instead of words, unless they are insufferable, and you wish to drive them away from you. Reply in words, even with “yes” or “no”, or you will lose your mental domination over others fast. Secret 11: Don't Push Your Way In and Take Over the Stage Don't swagger up to people who are conversing and, with a booming voice, take over the stage. To those of sensitivity and refinement, such behavior is enraging. Secret 12: Don't Think That Others Haven't Learned These Same Rules Practice these rules with grace and dignity, and don't be so obvious, even for a second, that any of those around you feel that you might be attempting to manipulate them. They will become your greatest adversaries. ---------------- Use what you have learned wisely, and never miss an opportunity to practice. With sufficient practice, elitist conduct will become as second nature to you, and you be at your best at all times without even being aware of it. Douglas E. Castle p.s. Please be certain to read the Related Articles at the very bottom of this post . If this exercise makes you fear carpal tunnel syndrome for all of the scrolling required to get to the very end of this post, I have tried to do the compassionate thing and dragged (they complained throughout the entire trip!) them up here for you to see without undue duress, but my efforts were thwarted by some rogue programming. |
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