Drawing The Line.
If you should have the misfortune of being competent and word of your ability gets out...if you should be generous, and word of your generosity escapes...you will invariably find yourself at the very bottom of a heavy and malodorous pile of compost comprised other people's problems, burdens, errands and favors. You might feel guilty. You may feel overwhelmed.
Eventually this can lead to a growing malignancy of resentment and anger. Don't explode! Unload.
The problem is caused by limitless acceptance of responsibility, and the fault is in your failure to communicate your limitations to those who have become overly-dependent upon you. You may have even helped to inculcate a feeling of entitlement in these people. This pattern helps neither your, nor those who depend upon you. All parties are weakened by it.
Draw the line, and learn to guard it. Your sanity might be of benefit to everybody.
Here's an example of a proclamation, wherein a line is drawn:
Dear Family, Friends, Colleagues and Hard-Won Clients:
I have drawn a line, and you are treading close to it. I am nobody's clerk. I am nobody's errand boy. I am nobody's servant. I have no further interest in yielding to anybody else's priorities, agendas or problems. Mine must come first. I will accommodate you when, as and if I have adequate time and resources.
Life is filled with deadlines, responsibilities and emergencies. They cannot all be mine.
I am asking you to be more self-sufficient and enterprising, and to be as respectful of my needs as I am of yours. Thank you.
Respectfully, and finally,
Douglas
p.s. Perhaps the problem can be solved by more self-reliance, more staffing for assistance and delegation, and by letting me do the things that are most important to my life and my mission, for our collective benefit.
I have drawn a line, and you are treading close to it. I am nobody's clerk. I am nobody's errand boy. I am nobody's servant. I have no further interest in yielding to anybody else's priorities, agendas or problems. Mine must come first. I will accommodate you when, as and if I have adequate time and resources.
Life is filled with deadlines, responsibilities and emergencies. They cannot all be mine.
I am asking you to be more self-sufficient and enterprising, and to be as respectful of my needs as I am of yours. Thank you.
Respectfully, and finally,
Douglas
p.s. Perhaps the problem can be solved by more self-reliance, more staffing for assistance and delegation, and by letting me do the things that are most important to my life and my mission, for our collective benefit.
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