If anyone should introduce or preface a question to you (especially while the two of you would seem to be alone, and away from the crowd) with words to the effect of "Could you tell me, off the record...," or, "Just between the two of us...," "Level with me...,"or, "In the strictest confidence...," or, " What did you really think of that?" -- You should immediately (and invisibly) become acutely suspicious of that individual's reasons, intentions and trustworthiness.
These very common but manipulative "comforting" statements are attempts to get you to reveal information that: you would not want to go any further; could be damaging to you or someone else; could be overhead; could be repeated out of context; could actually be used to gauge your trustworthiness or credibility (i.e., where you are being 'tested' by a third party); or which could be recorded, broadcast and utilized by those whose interests conflict with yours. This "invitation to confide" could actually be an invitation to unwarranted personal bonding, or to self-incrimination
Warning:
- Take your time to choose your response very, very carefully ;
- Do not speak ill of anyone;
- Do not divulge any secrets, or betray any confidences;
- Speak euphemistically and innocuously (dictionary.com);
- Say very little of any substance;
- Be brief with your answer, and try to say it with a smile -- you are creating a friendly, harmless, bland soundbite;
- Preface your response, after a brief pause, with "Why do you ask?" and wait for a slightly surprised uncomfortable answer before proceeding;
- Once you've made your brief, harmless comment ("Well, the coffee was a bit cold."), let the other individual (your interrogator) do all of the talking, and then listen carefully.
Always speak as if you were being recorded and broadcast to the universe. Assume that everything that you say to everyone is "on the record," regardless of what they might want you to believe. Observance of this command rule is one that will stand you in good stead. Many persons with otherwise great career trajectories have been caught in this trap.
Use the intuitive filter of your good political sense instead of your natural inclination to blab, insult, confide and to backbite.
You may safely assume that you are always "on the record".
Douglas E Castle [http://aboutDouglasCastle.blogspot.com]
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